David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
