new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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