Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
