Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
