Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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