so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize