Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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