So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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