where does the pee come out of this thing
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
