2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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