**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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