Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
