In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
