one two three fourrrrnication!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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