im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
