I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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