I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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