is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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