The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
