I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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