So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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