My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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