She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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