Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
