my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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