Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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