Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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