I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
