I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
