I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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