There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
