so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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