Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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