This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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