She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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