Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
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With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize