you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
