..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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