it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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