I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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