I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize