hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
