If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
