the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
