chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
