Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
