he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
