Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
