just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Come on in and take your pants off
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