this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
