What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize