I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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