I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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