I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
