Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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