Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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