It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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