Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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