It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
