Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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