is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
