My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize