Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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