Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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